Networking and Friends

In her March 16, 2019 Wall Street Journal column, Kids, Don’t Become Success Robots, Peggy Noonan wrote about the recent college application scandal. Her emphasis was about how when parents cheat the kids believe cheating is normal and will have regrets doing so.

She told a story about speaking at an Ivy League school and being surprised because the students didn’t want to talk about any subjects or doing high-quality work (to succeed in life0 but about networking. Not networking as we think of it, but as “how can I use other people to benefit me.” She tried to explain it’s about the quality of the work you do and asked them, “Why don’t you just make friends?”

She came away disillusioned and felt the students had been trained to be shallow and see others as commodities.

So, what does that have to do with you and me? We think of networking a way to have a win-win relationship. It’s not taking advantage of others, it is making friends in order to help each other. It’s pretty easy to spot people who care more about themselves than their clients, their referral sources, or anybody else. I look at my referral tracking list and realize the vast majority come from people I consider friends. People with whom I would enjoy having a cup of coffee, a beer, or a meal.

My takeaway from this is if your objective is to get to know others better and understand how you can help them, you’ll end up being rewarded in the long run.

“Do not network. Make friends. Learn about the lives of others.” Peggy Noonan

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