Getting Change Means Tormenting Someone

Well, I can’t be your mentor without occasionally being your tormentor,” Dr. Sharon Fieldstone.

When I heard this it was a “stop the presses” moment because everybody who advises clients, manages people, raises kids, or just about anything else has to use tough love to get through to others. Tough love means you’re taking people out of their comfort zone, i.e., tormenting them. It could be:

  • Telling a business owner what their business is really worth.
  • Giving a “truthful” review to an employee (as in, you’re not getting a bonus…).
  • A banker saying, “No, we can’t lend you money because…”
  • Legal advice about what someone is doing is wrong and will get them into trouble.
  • Informing a business buyer the business they love is not a good deal (company has issues, the price is too high, etc.), so keep searching. 
  • Or, the flip side, telling a buyer to get moving before they lose the deal.
  • A CPA telling a client, “No, you can’t deduct your daughter’s college tuition” (or similar).

I’ll bet you can think of times someone did this to you or you did this to clients, employees, or family members. We can’t grow if we’re not held accountable.

Well, I can’t be your mentor without occasionally being your tormentor,” Dr. Sharon Fieldstone

“I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.” Margaret Thatcher

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